My son woke us up screaming in the middle of the night. He’s got this thing, like most kids, where he wants to crawl into our bed at like 1:00 in the morning and last night was no different. If it’s a work night, my wife will let him lie there and get back to sleep and then she scoops him up and takes him back to bed. Last night, he was having none of it. My belly hurts! My ear hurts!, on and on. He was distraught. My wife was up with him and I assumed he’d had a nightmare and was making excuses for getting back into our bed to sleep. I stumbled into his room where she was lying with him on his bean bag, holding him to her chest while he wailed. I mumbled something about how he was okay and should just close his eyes and get back to sleep. Let’s face it–what man is Albert Einstein at 1:00 AM after being woken up by a child’s screams?

Turns out, he ralphed all over his bed and my wife was up with him all night while I slept the sleep of a bastard father whose developed the annoying ability to sleep through anything while his wife suffers the mundanities of head colds and middle of the night pukings.

Turns out, he has an ear infection. No biggie, he’s got some Amoxycillin and feels much better but I had bad ears and tonsils when I was his age. Back then, there wasn’t a whole lot they could do. I remember having to go to the doctor and being forced to lie on my side while they poured boiling water in my ear to break up the ear wax. I produced an inordinate amount of ear wax (still do) and it led to many sore throats and ear infections. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs in the doctor’s office, just like my son was screaming last night.

God, I hope he doesn’t have the same shit I did. There are some traits it simply is not cool to pass on to your offspring.

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