Alexandra has thrown down the gauntlet to the blogosphere to produce a top ten list of the Worst Americans. Here is mine in no particular order:

  1. Huey Long: This could have been our American Hitler had the man not been assassinated under auspicious circumstances most likely resulting from a contracted hit put out on him by the FDR administration. Long was a social reformer who was even further to the left than FDR and could have easily gained the Presidency with his populist message of anti-rich Robin Hood tactics while he lived like a King in the bayous of that gang-ridden cess pool that Andrew Jackson saved in the War of 1812. It was a good thing for history that this man was cut short by a bullet before he sewed his evil tapestry right through the United States Constitution.

  2. Aaron Burr: This traitor not only shot and killed one of the most brilliant of the Founding Fathers, Alexander Hamilton (who arguably had it coming); he tried to incite a rebellion and establish a new country further west that would eventually go to war with the burgeoning United States. Aaron Burr was brilliant in his own right and could have been President of the US one day had he not been such a double douche bag.

  3. Jesse Jackson: What can one say about this Reverend of lies and preacher of divisive hatred. How can I count the ways that this man has driven stakes through the heart of this country and squeezed his popularity from the butt cheeks of the lowest of American ideals and ignorance. This man is so much worse than the bigotry and hatred he espouses to be an opponent of that if there is any justice in heaven, Martin Luther King Jr. will be waiting for him with a shovel and an angel’s rifle to make sure Jesse Jackson digs his own path to the shit pit of hell he deserves to boil in for eternity.

  4. Mark David Chapman: This asshole shot John Lennon because he wanted to “kill the image on an album cover.” It’s a shame he didn’t hold the record up to his forehead before he pulled the trigger.

  5. Lyndon Baines Johnson: This man directly profited from the assassination of a sitting United States President and was most likely complicit in his death. He then went on to escalate a war in Southeast Asia that cost the lives of hundreds of thousands and gained absolutely nothing in the advance of human freedom. That being said, because of him, there were laborious hours of wonderful music produced in protest of his very existence and acts while wielding power in this world, so it’s really a wash in the end.

  6. Charles Manson: What can one say about this ego-maniacal lunatic who still believes he is the chosen one to usher in a great race war and then assume messianic control of the earth after black blood flows in the gutter along with white blood? I think that just about says it all.

  7. Kenneth Lay: This piece of shit is still walking free after financially raping thousands of people who worked their fingers to the nubs for him. He is the Gollum of corporate America and if there is any justice in this world, he will be reincarnated as Roseanne Barr’s G-string.

  8. Jim Jones: Here’s another ego-maniacal lunatic who massaged the religious faith of people in group psychology mode, broke them away from their friends and family, moved them out of the country, had them shoot and kill a United States Federal agent and then commit mass suicide when the deal went south from there. He and Charlie Manson will be subject to an eternity of co-starring in Satan’s gay porn videos without Vaseline.

  9. Hillary Clinton: This is the most evil woman ever to walk the face of the earth. She is so power-hungry and vicious that she actually makes her husband a sympathetic figure in light of the fact that he has to navigate around her treacherous mind, moods, and emotions on a regular basis. If this woman ever seizes any more power than she’s already sold her soul to capture, consider it the beginning of the end of freedom in this world.

  10. Michael Moore: I know it’s trendy to pick on Michael Moore, but he really is the worst American ever. He and his propaganda have done more to aid the Islamo-Fascist movement world-wide then even Osama himself. There is nothing endearing or funny about this man’s wit or his malicious world-view of the haves and have-nots. His confrontational “gotcha” style interviews are more sensational and than substantial but also do more to drum up political support for ephemeral causes and happenstance occurrences that generally play right into the hands of the enemies of America, both foreign and domestic. A statue bust should be erected of this man and placed in the urinal of the White House with a fountain that ensures his image will spit Presidential piss for the rest of this country’s existence.

And there you have the Boys Wear Pants Top Ten List of the Worst Americans.

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