Joshua Minton’s Online Pulpit : Boys Wear Pants on Lost Season 2

Posted by Joshua Bradley Minton in September 19th, 2006

Every asshole in the universe was born with an opinion. The difference between me and most of them is that I lack the humility to stop me from bending over and constantly showing off mine.

So, Lost.

I stopped watching season 2 halfway through the second episode because my Tivo took a shit and froze up and I didn’t have the patience to stomach watching live television again. Something about being forced to sit down and watch a show at a time designated by some jackass network executive just totally affronted me and turned me off television altogether.

But DVD is another medium altogether, now isn’t it?

This is one of the best shows on television because nobody knows what the hell is going on in it but they can’t stop watching. It is, without a doubt, the worthy successor to The X Files.

But I got burned by Mulder and Scully when the series finale came out as a complete and total cluster hump. So, I’m reserving final judgment on Lost but I will put forth a theory.

I believe that all the characters are dead and are stuck in a Tibetan Book of the Dead style of purgatory. Consider the three tempations of the Buddha: Desire, Fear, and Social Duty.

The castaways are continually being pulled by their desires and pushed by their fears. And consider that the common term in Buddhist and Hindu terminology for social duty is…you guessed it…Dharma. It is no coincidence that the project which built and manned all the hatches on the island was named The Dharma Initiative.

Also, consider that the purpose of the Book of the Dead is one last chance for those who did not achieve the ego release of illumination upon death to deal with their issues and give up the ghost to the finality of everything. Further note that Boone and Shannon, two of the main characters in Lost died shortly after finally dealing with their issues (Boone with his infatuation with possessing Shannon and Shannon with her raging desire to be believed in).

I think that the Others are some kind of angels who take those who are innocent (children) and those who are able to be spoken to logically about their release. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they captured Jack, Kate and Sawyer at the end of Season 2–the three strongest personalities with the biggest egos on the island.

So, the button actually served a function; Desmond caused the plane crash; Locke and Eko will have a new mission (assuming they survived the explosion); Charlie is going to get laid finally; Michael is likely to get his bitch ass shot off by Sayid who is on the Elizabeth with Jinn and Sun; and the other castaways are basking in the glow of an electromagnetic bomb that just went off over their heads.

Oh, and Desmond’s hot ex (the wife from Mind of the Married Man) is on to his trail. I wonder if he survived the explosion and the e-bomb?

I’m probably totally wrong about what’s going on but I don’t care because I love a show that keeps me interested and keeps me guessing.

I can’t wait for October 4th.

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