
…here are five singers you should not try to sing any song of theirs, no matter how much they inspire you or how great you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you sound like. Trust me–you’ll sound like shit by comparison and make yourself look like a fool.
- Freddy Mercury: No one will ever have a voice to match his so don’t even try.
- Marvin Gaye: You’ll never sound as good as he did and even if you do, you’ll never pull off his stage presence.
- Whitney Houston: You’ll make yourself sound like a third grader in comparison.
- Janis Joplin: I’ve said it before–she wasn’t a good singer. She may have moved people but she was awful compared to the true greats.
- Me: Don’t even try to sound like me cause when I open my mouth gold plated butterflies float out and mercifully bless the ears of everyone lucky enough to be present.
Seriously though–stop it. Stick to the easy to mimics where you have some wiggle room to show your real talents. Save the others for a pitcher of beer and karaoke in a dark shitty bar.
Better yet, stop singing and start playing Guitar Hero.
photo credit: scottjlowe
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Joshua Minton holds a Creative Writing degree from BGSU and is the author of 


Joplin had a good voice, but for a different genre. She did the blues well. And you may want to add Alison Krauss to that list.